Payback

Author: Thomas Kelly
ISBN: 0-679-45051-3
Year Published: 1997
Date Read: March 11, 2008
Why I Read This Book: It was on the bottom shelf of my library. It had not been read by anyone and I was in a revengeful mood.
Number of Pages: 273
File Under: Crime novel, New York City

Comments: Payback is the first attempt by author Thomas Kelly. It is self promoted as the poor man’s version of “Bonfire of the Vanities”. With a setting in New York City in the 1980’s, Kelly seeks to envelop you in the world of hard working Irish Americans in The City. The book is replete with every canned Irish stereotypical characteristic displayed in each character. It is true that there is no reference to “wee people”, the “Blarney Stone” and no one is dancing a jig, but you get the impression that Kelly is itching to place these items in his novel.
The story has three plots which meet nicely at the end. Little Billy is back from college (the first one in the family to go, everyone is very proud) and needs to make some money in case he gets accepted to law school. He returns each summer to be a sandhog, wherein he travels with other union employees beneath the earth of NYC to dig out a huge tunnel to carry water to the big city’s thirsty denizens. You may have seen the tunnel in one of the later “Die Hard” movies -I think it was the one entitled “Die Most Hardest”. Billy can make big cash and pay his way through school. Unfortunately, Billy’s Dad died in the tunnel and was its first victim. As of the printing on Kelley’s book, 23 people had died in the process of building the water tunnel. The conditions are atrocious and Kelley gives us every good reason for unions to remain in existence to protect those driven to earn but who still need to work safely. As it turns out the tunnel project has been sold to a union-busting corporate contractor who decides to show how he can turn a profit in the tunnel. He enlists the help of local mobs (yes the Irish mob and the Italian version). One of the hit man for the Irish bad guys is Paddy, Billy’s only brother. He is a former boxer with just one broken hand away from the big time. Paddy is not the chief just one of the minions in the gang. He dispatches foe and friend alike without looking back. Paddy’s boss is a sadistic louse of an individual.
For the first half of the book we are treated to descriptions of Paddy’s boss inventing increasingly violent ways to treat those he no longer likes. He is unfortunately depicted in other areas in too graphic a fashion by Kelly. Why do we need to know how happy the boss is after a trip to the bathroom? What is Kelly telling us about himself when he uses derogatory terms about women without any attribution to a character’s speech or thoughts? The crass depiction of the characteristics of the Irish folk is only outdone by the way in which Kelly portrays the Italians in the book. One of the Italians is a stoolie and he develops a relationship with his pregnant cop friend before he decides to check out. This is a book about hard work and toil and it attempts to give you a good sense of the cityscape and all of the competing influences therein.
Eventually, Paddy’s boss goes too far and Paddy, the numb killing machine, wakes up and decides his boss needs to be paid back. Paddy has to try to protect his brother before it is too late. I liked parts of the book. Those few descriptions of the bond between the brothers hit home as well as Kelly’s presentation of the desire to do whatever is necessary for one of your own. The story flows quickly enough but I think that was because of the lack of depth in Kelly’s retelling of the events of the 80’s. It is clear that his novel was well researched and that it dealt with some serious topics. For many, the portrayal of Irish people by Kelly will be right on target. As it appeared to me to be overdone, I found his writing distracting rather than enjoyable. It is Kelly’s first book. It is clear he has talent and should pursue this vocation. He has written two other books since the first. He might be worth a second read.

Nature Girl

Author: Carl Hiaasen
ISBN: 978-0-446-58175-2
Year Published: 2006
Date Read: January 22, 2008
Why I Read This Book: I always like a little Hiaasen.
Number of pages: 304
File Under: Comic novel

Comments: I read this book on a trip back from Denver on Delta, in an ice storm. So the flight to Atlanta turned into a flight to Huntsville for more fuel. As we taxied out of Huntsville the back of the cabin filled with smoke and the Captain announced that we should not worry about the smoke, that he thought it would be okay, and that we should push on to Atlanta. The swift cabin attendants slipped into the bathrooms and disabled the smoke alarms. Nature Girl provided a necessary distraction.

I picked up the book at the Denver airport and had it finished before I got home the next day. Carl Hiaasen books are like chips. They are definitely crisp, salty and sure to provide a certain taste sensation with every crunch. However, you can eat too many so it’s best to keep the Hiaasen readings at least nine months apart. Read two in a row and you see the same patterns and quirky behavior in the new characters brought to each book.

Nature Girl has a library card listing of “Manic-Depressive Illness” as one of the subject tags. That’s because of Honey Santana. She has a precocious teenager (Fry), a not so estranged hunk of an ex-husband (Perry Skinner), and she has a tendency (common enough) to stay off of her medications for longer than prescribed. A crass cold calling phone solicitor rings during dinner and sets Honey off on a wandering wacky scheme to teach the telecommunicator a lesson about ecology, life and civility. He had called Honey a “dried up skank”. The solicitor is a philandering baboon at home in Texas and must be lured to Florida so Honey can carry forth her plan to even the score.

Honey’s son gets a hint that something is up when he comes home from school to find his mom painting the trailer to look like an “Eco-Lodge”. The telemarketer is reeled in with a promise of a weekend vacation in Florida. He brings his not so enamored and bored girlfriend. The two of them are tailed by an earnest private eye who is retained by the telemarketer’s wife to get close up coitus pictures. Meanwhile, Sammy Tigertail who is a man wrestling with alligators and his heritage, kidnaps a zonked out college girl on spring break in the Ten Thousand Islands National Refuge in Florida. A Mr. Piejack is of the opinion that Honey only wants him so he follows Honey, the telemarketer and the girlfriend in their kayak eco-adventure. All of the characters end up on Dismal Key for the climax to this cleverly written and entertaining tale. The story is packed with local Florida color and has an ending we all root for. No one gets it as close to perfect as Hiaasen in depicting the characters of our state. He has a great mix of scenes and careful story development. Our sympathies lie with Honey. We all want her to prevail in her scheme to set the world right by making sure the telemarketer never disturbs another family’s mealtime. Good book with a good ending. Thanks Mr. Hiaasen, keep them coming.

Born Standing Up - A Comic's Life

Author: Martin, Steve
ISBN: 978-1416553649
Year Published: 2007
Date Read: 28 January 2008
File Under: Autobiography
Why did I read this book? It was a gift from my sister-in-law.
Number of pages: 207, with a large font and widely spaced lines (I guess he did not want two novellas in a row.)
Not recommended.

Comments: Why did Steve Martin write this book? I don't know. Why did I read this book? Steve martin was a hilarious hoot who created great self-deprecating comedy for many years (and my sister-in-law gave the book to me for Christmas). Why did I read this book all the way to the finish? I hoped it would get better. It did not.

I had heard that Shop Girl, also by Martin, was well written and reviewed. That is as close as I got. As my hair color reveals that I would have been young when Steve Martin was popular, the book appeared to be an appropriate gift for a man known for his own gags, now and then. I thought the book would be funny, insightful, entertaining, an escape from reality and filled with quality prose.

Why would you expect well written text from one successful at delivery of one-liners? When we watched Steve Martin, part of the humor was what we perceived was going on in his head. Why, for example, did he think he was a wild and crazy guy? We went along. Why did he wear that arrow thing? We ignored it along with him. When we so exercised our imagination about what was going on in the comedian’s head we filled in the blanks with our own willingness to find humor and to laugh. Steve Martin did not have to say too much. No long monologues – outlandish behavior for no apparent reason and street theater carried us along on riffs of laughter. We wanted to laugh and saw no reason to hold back. But this book. What happened?

Okay, so it is his biography (and who has not wondered whether the tale of one’s life would be interesting to others) and he did not get along with his Dad. He liked his Mom. You never get the impression that anyone in the family has a big heart pumping out tons of love. There were no hugs, group or otherwise, going on in Southern California when Steve was growing up. If you are looking for profound introspection, it ain’t in this book. If you want insight into the human condition, go reread The Good Earth. If you want to find out about Steve Martin, the bio on Wikipedia is likely more interesting and you can see the end of the article without scrolling down too much.

Born Standing Up provides you with information about every job held by Steve Martin, his companions of the female persuasion, and celebrities cresting in popularity at the same time as this comedian. Maybe it was cathartic for Steve Martin to write the book. Maybe the scene of Steve Martin saying goodbye to his father on his death bed was meant to mean more, but the emotion evoked here was as shallow as a one-liner. I do not mean to detract at all from Steve Martin’s genius. It just does not show up on these pages.

Some other comedian has a rave blurb on the back of the book. I suspect he read other reviews, has spent too much time reading Superman, and that he never opened this book. Pedantic, plodding, dull, dry, narrowly focused, mildly entertaining, historical, mercifully short, sleeping pill, tinder. Steve Martin deserves a better biography.